Ok, life has become fairly ok I guess. I’ve gotten a summer job, by dad is still retarded, my friend and boyfriend are nagging so yeah it’s peaceful -_-’

Of course, I don’t blame them for asking to make me come out, they are my friend and boyfriend after all, but we have one problem. I hate to og out, I feel uncomfortable to stay at anothers house and thats just how I am. I feel like an intruder in another persons house as well as a huge burden. Probably why I rarely eat unless I’m forced to of course. I just can’t find that peace to sit down calmly, smile and talk with others. It’s not in my nature I guess. I love them both of course I do! But when she asks me every freaking time about this or that and I’m not particulary in mood to answer so I just write one or two words. She keeps asking and it pisses me off. My mother noticed it as well when we were looking for a pair of new glasses to me. She was asking so many freaking questions she seemed to be my mother. She has always been like that, and yeah it’s ok to be curious. But she’s overhand and I’m sorry to really say it but I hate that side of her. I’ve also got a health issue concerning my blood, I’ve got no idea what the word is but it’s something like the blood being too thick so it blocks and it can’t be healthy. I’m going to the doctor to get some iinformation and some new pills because I can’t use the others anymore. My one year anniversary with my boyfriend is soon up and I have no idea what to really do. I want to be with him, but I don’t really like the movies so yeah…Anyone got any idea to help me? I just need to rant out everything that is inside of my head. It’s a chaos because I’m still mad at my father and I’m just tired of them asking me nonstop to come out and meet.

I didn’t get to see the horse show which sucks completely! I suddenly heard there were pure and quality horses, one was even owned by the sheik of Quatar and I freaking missed it! It pissed me off and my dad blamed me for not listening when I have the feeling he lied to me straight in the face. My boyfriend didn’t make it easier when he reminded me of what I had missed so I got mad at him as well. I was working that day and seeing as I lost my cell phone I kind of need the money to get a new one. *sigh* I just want to run away again. I want to live with mom a while but I can’t because they’ll just yell at me again and I’m so frustrated I start crying for nothing and I hate it! And the name of my brother didn’t help that much but either way I don’t really care. I’ll call him junior or something>_>

So yeah, life is brilliant, I’ve got some good news from meh friend that she has become better and it really calms me. Knowing she it healthy is important to me, well that any of my friends is healthy is important to me. But somehow I feel like her big sister or something even though she is older then meXP The others are a little jealous becaus ei have the habit of talking about one person for a little to long time. Dunno why just do and frankly, I won’t try to make myself anything else, thats who I am and if no one can accept it, then fine by me. I won’t make myself something I’m not, the true personality of a person is the person one like. Yeah I’m moody and I have the habit of snapping, that doesn’t mean that I’m mad or something. I don’t know, it just makes me sad and depressed inside to hear it I guess. I know it’s true but why do I need to be something I’m not? I just don’t get it.

PS: I can't change the euphoric thingy so yeah...I'm not in that mood at all.


So there, done with ranting…Sorry to make you listen to it-_-’
~Free out…